Do you like Mac? Do you like me? Well, then, you're in for a treat.

Check out the Underrated book site, and read all about the underrated movie, Mac and Me, an hilarious romp featuring a young man in a wheelchair and a Mysterious Alien Creature (MAC).

Labels: Mac and Me, movies, Underrated

Before I went to college, I saw a lot of movies. Tons. I saw just about everything that came out in the theater. Genre didn't really matter. As long as I had popcorn and moving pictures in front of me, I was good. And I didn't really spend a whole lot of time questioning whether these movies were good or bad; I just loved the experience of going.* Why not, right? Frankly, there was just not a whole lot else to do where I grew up with the people that I hung out with. It was either go to the movies or watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 in someone's basement.**

*This is a very 1950s way of looking at things: marveling at the wonder of them, instead of seeing them for what they are. I'm not apologizing for this. I wish I still had it.

**I was tooling around You Tube the other day and I stumbled across a clip from one of my favorite episodes, Mitchell, starring Joe Don Baker and Merlin Olsen. It also happens to be Joel Hodgson's last episode. I don't know why I brought this up.

Until I saw Speed.

It's not really just that Speed is a bad movie (which it is)*. It is a very bad movie that somehow launched Sandra Bullock's career (that may, in itself, explain her career). It's an outright insult to anyone with even a shred of intelligence. Everyone watching this movie should have walked out of the theater and demanded their money back.

*My high school yearbook actually has an inscription from someone saying that they disagreed with me about Speed and that they thought the movie was very suspenseful. I can only assume that person's yearbook has a profanity-laced tirade about how stupid they are.

It starts out OK. Disillusioned cop (played by Dennis Hopper of all people) that's forced to retire goes loco and wants to exact his revenge by killing lots of people. Fine. That's at least the beginning of a plot that I can get behind. But from there, it's all ridiculous. City bus driver knows the name of someone trying to catch the bus and actually stops to let them on. Bomb attached to bus will explode if speed dips below a certain level. Neurotic, crazy, stereotypes on bus make escape difficult. Woman that caught bus creates a sense of brotherhood among them. Snappy one-liners exchanged. Keanu Reeves involved.

It's just stupid insult after stupid insult. I take the bus every single day. Nothing happens. In fact, the only people even talking on the bus are the people on their cellphone that think the bus is their living room.

And the moment that broke my brain was when they get on a highway to keep the speed of the bus at the appropriate level, never mind that the thing is a 1980s-era bus that guzzles gas like my little cousins eat Cheerios and should have run out miles ago, and no one realizes that the highway HASN'T BEEN FINISHED YET. No one among the people that live in the area could think to mention that the highway on which their careening bus was about to go hadn't yet been finished.

That's the point that I stood up and screamed, "Oh, come on!"

So the bus drives off of the unfinished bit of the highway (which also just happens to form a ramp), lands and keeps going. Later on, they rig the surveillance camera on the bus in an infinite loop, gradually move the people off of the bus before Dennis Hopper figures it out, and then Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock open the emergency exit on the bottom of the bus, line up a small wooden board on rollers beneath it at 50 miles per hour, then get on it to slide themselves off the bus, which explodes in the background as they roll to safety. There are no words.

Forget realistic. This doesn't even work in a fantasy. Some monkey on PCP must have written this film. It just forced me to realize that Hollywood will just take any piece of garbage, smear it on a cracker and tell me it's goose liver pate. Not only that, they expect me to smile and hold my nose while I eat it, then make yummy sounds when I'm done. After Speed, I just couldn't do it anymore.

And now, I can't watch any movie the same way. Every action movie is a ridiculous farce, every drama is a sappy mess and every comedy is an unfunny train wreck. I haven't truly enjoyed a movie the same way in 15 years. Oh, sure, I've enjoyed movies, but they just aren't an essential activity for me anymore, because I just don't buy in with the same enthusiasm.

And this, friends, is how Sandra Bullock ruined my life.

Labels: movies, MST3K, Sandra Bullock, Speed

I love reading stuff like this:

Creation, starring Paul Bettany, details Darwin's "struggle between faith and reason" as he wrote On The Origin of Species. It depicts him as a man who loses faith in God following the death of his beloved 10-year-old daughter, Annie.

--snip--
Movieguide.org, an influential site which reviews films from a Christian perspective, described Darwin as the father of eugenics and denounced him as "a racist, a bigot and an 1800s naturalist whose legacy is mass murder". His "half-baked theory" directly influenced Adolf Hitler and led to "atrocities, crimes against humanity, cloning and genetic engineering", the site stated.

Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm anti-Hitler also. Big, big Hitler hater over here. I don't want to get into a whole pissing contest about religion, but there's a big difference between survival of the fittest and eugenics. Just like there's a big difference between funny and Glenn Beck. One is a neutral idea; the other is a complete perversion of that idea.

You don't want to believe in evolution? Fine. Don't. This is a free country. I'm not stopping you. Certainly, though, we can all agree that a movie can be worth watching, whether you agree with it or not. And certainly it's worth buying and distributing (particularly now, since a big deal is being made of it. Money is something the Church can definitely understand), so that people who want to watch it can and make their own decision from there. This is exactly my thought process when every Michael Bay movie is been released.

If we can't agree to hate Michael Bay's crappy movies, what can we agree on?

Labels: Charles Darwin, evolution, Michael Bay, movies

Really? Really?

Labels: movies

I know it's really in vogue to make fun of Tom Cruise, but I can't help myself: his new movie looks like a steaming pile of shit.

Not only that, I think it's an insulting ploy to release this film on Christmas Day in an attempt to get as many Jews as possible to see it, since all there is to do is see movies and eat Chinese food, and this one happens to be about someone trying to kill Hitler. Why don't they just release a movie about how to get things wholesale and use guilt to get people to do things for you?

As a Jew, maybe I'm supposed to see and/or like this film because its plot involves an attempt to kill Hitler. But guess what? Since it's based on a true story, I already know the ending, and frankly, going along for the ride with Tom Cruise just doesn't seem that appealing to me. How ridiculous does that man look with an eye patch? At what point does this guy stop making $25MM a film? What's it going to take? A letter writing campaign? Full page ad in the New York Times? Just let me know what to do and I'll do it.

Labels: eye patches, movies, Tom Cruise

It's been a week. Let's see what I can squeeze out of my fingers today:

- If you live in Georgia and you only do one thing for me in your entire life, let it be voting for Jim Martin for Senate.

- Estelle Reiner has passed away. If you've ever had what she's having (which you probably have not if you're one of my former partners or current partner), you owe her a debt of gratitude. [Thanks, Defamer]

- If you like the Beatles and pretending to play musical instruments, you probably wet yourself after reading this.

Finally, a note about the election:

I don't care which way you vote, but please, please, please get out and vote. Not exercising your right to vote is the equivalent of urinating on the grave of John McCain.

Democrats, you'll be voting on November 4th this year. Republicans, you guys are voting on November 5th.

May the best man win.

Labels: Barack Obama, Georgia, Jim Martin, John McCain, movies, politics, the Beatles

I'd be remiss if I didn't say something about Tell No One, which I saw last night.

Very basically, a guy gets an email from his wife, 8 years after she died under mysterious circumstances. From there, the film is a winding, confusing (and sometimes needlessly complex) journey to find out what the hell is going on. The director does a masterful job shooting this film, and not a single moment of the movie is extraneous or unresolved at the end. If you're someone who likes to guess at the movie before the end, you need to pay attention to every single detail.

I think the French are just better at making thrillers than everyone else, because every time I see one, I come out of the movie riveted, excited and happy that I saw the film.

Very high recommend.

Labels: movies

Do you want to see a quirky, bizarre, brilliant film? Get yourself out to the local Cineplex and see the Hamlet 2 film. I haven't come out of a film that happy or engorged since Alvin and the Chipmunks.

[Update: I don't like Catherine Keener. I haven't enjoyed any performance by her since Being John Malkovich.]

Labels: movies

Is anyone going to Bryant Park tonight for the Monday night movie? They're showing the original Superman on the big screen tonight.

For a long time, if pressed, I would have almost invariably said that I enjoy Superman II better than the original Superman, but I think that I thought that because of General Zod. Zod is one of the great supervillains of the last 25-30 years. He's very comic book-y, completely irrational in his sense of vengeance (he was imprisoned by Superman's father Jor-El for crimes against Krypton) and ridiculous in his dialogue/behavior. But being from Kyrpton, he and his sidekicks (one played by former Los Angeles Ram Merlin Olsen) are also "super," and Superman must rely on his cunning to defeat them.

When I thought about it, I realized that there really is no topping the first film. It's got all the back story, and that's really what make Superman so compelling as a character.

Labels: Bryant Park, movies, Superman

William Miller: So, Russell, what do you love about music?
Russell Hammond: To begin with: everything.

You know how sometimes you go a long time without seeing a movie, and then you watch it and you realize that you've forgotten just how amazing the movie is? I saw Almost Famous again recently, and I was shocked at just how good it is (as an aside, shouldn't Patrick Fugit be more famous? He's outstanding in this film). It also gave me the opportunity to fall in love with Kate Hudson all over again. Katie bear, if you're still reading this, please call me.

But one other point: what the hell happened to Cameron Crowe? How could the guy that this movie also make Elizabethtown? I'm not as down on Vanilla Sky as everyone else is. I think it makes a valid point, and frankly, it's basically a shot by shot remake of Abre Sus Ojos. If you like that film and not this one, it's noly because you're a hipster doofus looking to come off more intelligent than you actually are. But let's take a look at the guy's career (with Almost Famous as the dividing point, and I'm including him as a writer to get Fast Times and The Wild Life in here):

Pre-Almost Famous:

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
The Wild Life
Say Anything ...
Singles
Jerry Maguire

Post-Almost Famous:

Vanilla Sky
Elizabethtown

In fairness, he's only made two movies since the year 2000, and the first set of movies represents two decades of work. I can't find anything about him having anything in development now, which means that he won't have a new movie out until late 2009 at the earliest. I always loved that he took time between films, so he wouldn't make drek, but now he's taking time and making drek. Methinks that's a deadly combination for a career.

Labels: Almost Famous, Cameron Crowe, movies

My brother tipped me off to this. The Coen brothers next project, after they finish their next project A Serious Man, will be to bring Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policeman's Union to a theater near you. If you haven't read the book, it's a high recommend from this end.

I don't know about you, but I totally geek out on the Coens. I find it really interesting that I leave everyone of their movies with a completely different impression of how I felt about the film, but once I watch them for a second time, I invariably love them. Walking out of Intolerable Cruelty, I wanted to strangle the both of them with my bare hands. About a year later, I watched it on cable and I loved it. I'm not sure what changed, except that something clicked. And I feel like every movie they make is that way. You need to see them more than once to truly get what they're trying to do.

Labels: books, Coen brothers, geekgasm, movies

The Telegraph has a list of the 100 best movie soundtracks around. It's pretty comprehensive (as are most things that the Telegraph does) and includes some movies that I've never seen and scores that I've never heard.

[Tip of the hat to IMDb.com]

Labels: movies, music

Good article in the New York Times about some of the films coming out of Sundance. It's nice to see Catherine Keener getting some work. She's in a film called, "Hamlet 2" that also features Elisabeth Shue playing herself. If that doesn't have high comedy written all over it, I don't know what does.

My friend Jackie was there for the weekend on business and caught a film that she passes along with high recommendations called "The Wackiness." Ben Kingsley's in it, along with Famke Janssen and Method Man. It's got a really odd plot. From IMDb:

Story, set in 1994, centers on a troubled teenage drug dealer and a drug-addled psychiatrist -- after the former trades pot for therapy sessions, then falls for the doctor's daughter.

It looks like there's some hope for the movie industry after all.

Labels: movies, Sundance

Normally, you couldn't make me watch the Oscars by using toothpicks to hold my eyes open and shocking me with a cattle prod to make sure I'm paying attention. I'm not going to say the Academy got it right here. Frankly, I still don't care. But I'm beyond shocked that Juno's gotten FOUR major nominations:

Best Picture
Best Actress - Ellen Page
Best Director - Jason Reitman
Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

One more thing: enough with fucking Queen Elizabeth already. How many Oscar noms is Cate Blanchett going to snag for playing the same fucking person?

Labels: award ceremonies, Juno, movies

Turns out there won't be a Borat II. From IMDb.com:

Sacha Baron Cohen has ditched his hapless alter-ego Borat following the phenomenal success of movie Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan.

--snip--

But Cohen has decided to officially retire Borat - because the character is now so well-known, he'll never fool anybody into believing he's a real person again. Cohen says, "When I was being Ali G and Borat, I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day, and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing. It is like saying goodbye to a loved one. It is hard, and the problem with success, although it's fantastic, is that every new person who sees the Borat movie is one less person I 'get' with Borat again, so it's a kind of self-defeating form, really."

A quick message to all of the redneck idiots that filed a lawsuit against Cohen because he "tricked" them into showing America what redneck idiots they are: Thanks for ruining Christmas.

Labels: Borat, movies, redneck idiots

I'm back in the office today after my short vacation and some much needed time off. There was lots of stuff going on, so I figure I'll do a quick roundup here:

I saw two wonderful films yesterday: The Savages and Juno. With regard to The Savages, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Philip Seymour Hoffman is doing it better than just about anyone out there these days. Also, Laura Linney always plays a good character that's on the edge of a mental breakdown. As for Juno, if Michael Cera in real-life is nothing like Michael Cera the actor, he's even better than I thought. Both films are high recommendations.

Great article by George Vescey in this weekend's New York Times about the impact of the Mitchell Report. I've read quite a bit about the steroid stuff, but this is one of the best things that I've read so far. [Thanks, Rob.]

I won the office football pool this week in an 11-way tiebreak. Good times for me.

Labels: Michael Cera, movies, New York Times, Philip Seymour Hoffman, steroids

I don't know why I took a good line from one of the last movies on the list to title this blog post. Scroll to the end of the post if you don't know where the line is from.

Through IMDb, I found this list of the best 100 films of the 1970s. I've long been an admirer of films from the 1970s, if only because a lot of these films took time to develop character and plot and weren't constrained the same way films are now. There's very much a tell the story, get in, get out thing going on with most movies these days. They don't take the time to develop anything outside of a linear story, and I think they suffer for it. In fact, it's one of the essays that I wanted to write for our forthcoming book. I believe that movies from this era (I call them "1970s auteur films") are wildly overlooked in the discussion of the greatest films of all-time, excepting the Godfather and the Godfather, Part II, which get tons and tons of recognition (rightly so).

For the record, this list doesn't include Rocky, which seems like a pretty serious omission to me. But it does include several films that I'd never even heard of (pretty much the whole first page) and several others that I've heard of but never seen. It includes 4 Woody Allen films (all of which I could probably recite from memory, most notably Manhattan, which is my favorite Woody film) and it includes the Robert Altman film Nashville, which is a great film.

I'll probably take time over the next couple of month to watch them. Check the list and leave a comment about any movie that you've seen and have some thoughts on. I'd be interested to hear some feedback about these films.

By the way, the quote is from Five Easy Pieces, right before Jack Nicholson swipes all the stuff off of the table.

Labels: 1970s, knees, movies

The trailer for the new Fantastic Four movie looks awesome. I'm hoping they learned some lessons from the first one (i.e. make it not suck). The first movie was horrendous, right down to Dr. Doom being just about the worst comic villain on the big screen through this recent spate of comics turned movies (thought admittedly, I've only seen about 50% of them).

If you haven't seen the trailer, check it out below:

Labels: comic books, movies