For the last few weeks, I've been off indulging my id. By that, I mean that I've been watching a lot of American Gladiators re-runs in my underwear, eating my weight in pretzel chips and hummus, and enjoying my new HDTV, which brings me something like 5 baseball games a night.
I'm about to start John Dos Passos's Manhattan Transfer and I've pre-ordered a couple of books that won't be released until later in the year, but I'll be sure to update as those come. Also, the reading of the book Manhattan Transfer led me to download the full collection of albums by The Manhattan Transfer, the American jazz combo.
Most terribly, Bea Arthur died since we last spoke. Needless to say, I'm crushed by this development. She was a like my very own, really sarcastic, baritone-voiced great-great-great grandmother. I still have a couple of shirts with her countenance on them that I will still be wearing with pride. In honor of Bea, please find the lyrics to the theme song from Maude, "And Then There's Maude" (written entirely from my memory, so there may be errors):
Lady Godiva was a freedom rider, she didn't care if the whole world looked. Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her, she was a sister who really cooked.
Something something a bad roll something And something else was a doughed up And when the country was torn apart, Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
And then there's Maude (x6) Positively hypnotizing, altogether something-izing, right on Maude.
R.I.P. Bea. Mourn you 'till I join you.
Also, apparently, there's some sort of flu bug going around. I haven't heard much about it (the news outlets are really covering it that much), but if I find anything out about it, I'll be sure to pass it along.
My good friend Dennis DiClaudio invited Yankee Pot Roast to contribute to the Indecision blog. In the interest of squeezing every last ounce of publicity out of our book (hey, did you know we had a book out?), we'll have a five-part series about the most underrated Veeps, in honor of tonight's Vice Presidential debate.
Y.P.R. will have a guest appearance TONIGHT (!) on the Joey Reynolds Show on WOR-710 in the New York area, a most underrated radio program if there ever was one.
What's that you say? You don't live in New York? No problem! They offer live streaming on the InterWeb here.
We'll be taping around 10:40pm. His show begins at midnight, so I should have a sense of when we'll air presently.
Our "Five Most Underrated Simpsons Characters" article is up on Cracked.com. Pay special attention to the comments. We're getting hammered by Cracked's 15 year-old readership. When you read at a 4th grade level, I guess it's difficult to understand a decently crafted argument for something.
Also, we had a brief review/shout-out in the Orgeonian yesterday:
The waggish satirists from the Web site Yankee Pot Roast have cobbled together a book -- "Underrated: The Yankee Pot Roast Book of Awesome Underappreciated Stuff" (Citadel Press, $12.95, 204 pages). Authors Geoff Wolinetz, Nick Jezarian and Josh Abraham throw down their opinions on the rate-worthiness of everything from George Harrison (underrated) to Paul McCartney (not underrated).
Among the underrated are movies such as "Grosse Pointe Blank" (hear, hear!) and "Gung Ho!"; the TV shows "Good Times," "Futurama" and "Deadwood"; Diet Dr. Pepper; singer Donovan; and our own state, Oregon. Why are we underrated? The authors' examples of our awesomeness include: no sales tax; vote-by-mail; Matt Groening (of both "Simpsons" and "Futurama" fame); Steve Prefontaine; Nike; Wieden + Kennedy; bountiful brewpubs; and designating the hazelnut the state nut ("Who has a state nut? Nobody else. Oregon makes its own rules"). On behalf of the entire state, let me just say, gee thanks, Yankee Pot Roast!
That's not the first time that I've been called waggish, and since I'm slightly aroused, hopefully not the last.
[Update 1:54pm: the Cracked article has made the Digg homepage.]
That has nothing to do with the content of the post here. I just thought of that old Chris Rock routine and started laughing. And there you go.
I'm trying my damnedest to work on another project right now that I'm trying to get out the door by the end of the month, so posting my get sparse around these parts over the next couple of weeks. I really wish that I was the kind of writer that could churn out 1500 words on this blog, and then turn around and knock out a chapter or two, but I can't seem to do that these days. Either my fingers don't work or my brain is broken, but both of those options leaves me out of luck.
In any event, the reading/signing on Monday went swimmingly. We had a nice turnout, and a good bit of banter in front of a mildly entertained audience. This far exceeded my expectations, which had us engaged in a stony, awkward silence with three or four disinterested observers.
Don't forget everyone: the Y.P.R. authors three will be at the Time Warner Center Border's signing copies of our runaway smash, "Underrated: The Yankee Pot Roast Book of Awesome Underappreciated Stuff." The information is below. Hope to see you all there:
Monday, August 11, 2008 at 7 p.m. Borders Time Warner Center 10 Columbus Circle New York, N.Y.
- I saw Hair at Shakespeare in the Park on Sunday night. I know what you're thinking: When did Shakespeare write an anti-establishment, anti-Vietnam musical? The answer: around 1967. I could spend some time here, railing all over the Baby Boomers (again) and discuss how those greedy, selfish fucks basically pissed away the last chance this country had at true change, because their parents stopped paying for their pot and they needed to get jobs to support themselves, so they just sold out to the highest bidder, got fat and became the people they swore they never would when they were in charge. But I won't do that.
Instead, I'll just tell you that the production is outstanding, even if it does come off a little dated. And if you're inclined, wake up early, get your ass on line, and get some tickets for this bad boy. You won't be sorry.
- They finally shut down Scrabulous. That'll make people buy the board game. Thanks for ruining Christmas, Milton Bradley.
- In a horrific turn of events, the external hard drive that contained 90% of my music was completely erased. Now I'm in the unenviable position of having to rebuild the entire collection from scratch. To be fair, I'm not entirely free of blame in this situation, I am looking forward to getting reacquainted with Frampton Comes Alive and Jerry Vale's Greatest Hits by re-stealing them.
- In case you forgot, I've got a book on the shelves. You should consider purchasing this book. I believe that you would enjoy it very much. If you don't like the book, I'll personally come to your home and tell you the story about the time I asked Sally Field if I would write her biography.
- I wanted to say something about the election: since I already know who I'm going to vote for, is it possible for me to vote now and then stop paying attention? I consider myself a news guy. I watch the cable news channels. I read the Times. I just can't take anymore of this. People actually said, out loud, that it's a bad thing that people outside of the U.S. (in addition to 54% of the U.S. electorate, as polled by Quinnipiac University) like Barack Obama. This is the attack? People abroad like him, so we shouldn't vote for him? Someone's going to have to clean my brains off of the wall, because my head just exploded.
** Update: It should be noted that I don't *actually* hate my parents. They're lovely people who raised me very nicely. I just have an unfocused hatred of their whole selfish generation.**
Who the hell's been keeping me away from Chicago for this long? Sweet Jewish god, this place is really friggin' great.
It's a cleaner, more compact version of New York with nicer people. Even though I'm on the record saying that New Yorkers don't get enough credit for being nice, if not a little gruff, the people here are so friendly. And not in an uncomfortable or sexual way either. Just regular nice.
Last night, I had a great meal at a local steakhouse. Tonight, I'm off to US Cellular Field (which I understand is surround mostly by crack houses) to watch the White Sox of Chicago take on the Rangers of Texas. The Cubs of Chicago are out of town or I would have headed up to Wrigley Field (which I understand is surrounded by yuppies).
Hey, why not buy my book? It would make a great gift for your graduate or perhaps your best friend who really likes pop culture or maybe even that girl from the mini-mart that you clumsily flirt with when you purchase cat food. All of those people would enjoy it.
We've got a couple more events surrounding the book, so if you were unable to join us for the launch party on Tuesday, definitely head down to one of these events. Also, if you were able to join us and feel like seeing us again, please come on by as well. And to sweeten the deal, I'll open mouth kiss anyone that buys ten books.
August 11 Borders Time Warner Center 10 Columbus Circle New York, NY 10019
September 25 Barnes and Noble The Palisades Center 4416 Palisades Center Drive West Nyack, NY 10994
These events have both been posted in "Where's Wolinetz" in the right rail as well.
I was in Marco Island for a few days for a vendor conference. It was a fun, yet informative time. And really, what's better than fun and information all rolled into one? Sexual intercourse? Perhaps. But nothing else.
I'll be getting on a more regular publishing schedule as the book release date approaches and we have events scheduled around that. There will be a launch party. We're finalizing the date, but mark your calendar as July 8 for now. I'll let you know if this changes.
The cover of the book has been finalized! Hooray! Three sentences in a row that end in exclamation points! Now, four! OK, I'm finished. Anyway, the book is also available for pre-order at Amazon.com. In fact if you act now, in addition to the Amazon savings, you can get an additional 5% off.
The book's blurbs are on this page, as well as the back cover copy. It's really cool. It's being edited to add my name at the top, which is an odd omission, but that should be taken care of reasonably soon.
Because I'm horrible at self-promotion, I figured I'd take a quick opportunity to update you as to the book and the status of YPR,(which you should all go and read post-haste).
The book: Man, this thing is really starting to roll. The official release date is June 24th. The advance buzz around it are starting to roll in and it's nothing but positive. The idea itself engenders so much debate over what is and isn't Underrated that I almost love bringing it up, because it means that I don't really have to talk to anyone for an evening. They sit and argue amongst themselves. The blurbs that our readers have given us are nothing short of amazing and I thank them for their gracious and kind words.
YPR: Have you been visiting our lovely online destination at all recently? If you have not, you've been missing out. The last few weeks of YPR have been among the best of the last 5 years. We're getting more amazing submissions than ever and it really shows in the online product. We've upgraded in quality from "shitty" to "mediocre." Another 5 years and we might approach "passable." In any event, swing by sometime. First drink is on us.
To say that I've been busy the last few weeks would be an understatement. I was supposed to go to London this weekend. Due to extenuating circumstances, I had to hang back in New York. I worked 15 hours on Wednesday, 16 on Thursday, 12 on Friday, and 6 on Saturday. To say that I'm tired would be like saying Ashton Kutcher is stupid. It's true, but doesn't really portray the whole picture.
On the positive side, the ARCs (Advance Reading Copies) of the book are in, and I'm expecting them to be delivered to my apartment any minute now. Though this copy doesn't incorporate our final edits, it'll have our full layout and it'll be in book form, which is crazy exciting.
I'm hoping to be able to start posting more regularly again on Thursday or Friday of this week, when I've got a little more time to focus.
My brother tipped me off to this. The Coen brothers next project, after they finish their next project A Serious Man, will be to bring Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policeman's Union to a theater near you. If you haven't read the book, it's a high recommend from this end.
I don't know about you, but I totally geek out on the Coens. I find it really interesting that I leave everyone of their movies with a completely different impression of how I felt about the film, but once I watch them for a second time, I invariably love them. Walking out of Intolerable Cruelty, I wanted to strangle the both of them with my bare hands. About a year later, I watched it on cable and I loved it. I'm not sure what changed, except that something clicked. And I feel like every movie they make is that way. You need to see them more than once to truly get what they're trying to do.
Fear not, loyal readership (all four of you). I'll be more consistent with my posting over the next few weeks; I've just had an extraordinarily busy time with it here at the day job over the last little bit. Let's see, what's new?
1) We're starting to solicit blurbs for the back cover of our book, so if you're a famous, brilliant author and reading this blog (hello, John Updike!), feel free to email me. Most importantly, we've got an official release date: June 24. Circle it on your calendar.
2) I really like the show Frasier, considering I never watched an episode during its initial run.
That's all for now. Look forward to more of what we do best (Connie Chung news updates and anti-Danish invective) in the coming days.
It's starting to get exciting around these parts. Nick, Josh and I met tonight and reviewed the copyedited version of our manuscript. There'll be one last review of the product, but this is essentially our last chance to make any kind of significant changes. That said, it's pretty much nailed down. We're making a few changes, but most of the red ink is about grammar, punctuation and spelling.
Also, we got some samples of the cover! I'm not at liberty to share them just yet, but suffice it to say that they came out much better than I was anticipating.
It's Raining, It's Pouring. The Old Man Is Possibly Suffering From Sleep Apnea, Which Could Lead to Hypertension and Heart Trouble Down the Road
Last night, the wife and I went to a discussion and Q&A session at the Museum of the City of New York with Joshua Prager (author of this book) and Ralph Branca (pitcher of this pitch). It was interesting and fun. I got my copy of the book signed by both. But what I found most interesting about the whole situation was how passionately people still feel about a home run that was hit 56 years ago. The Q&A session actually got contentious, with one guy actually throwing his hands forward and exclaiming, "ehhhh!" (this was probably the best way for him to win the argument.) Most of the questions revolved around the logistics of the Giants stealing signs that season, and despite not only overwhelming proof but also ample time to for the Giants to execute, most people still didn't buy it. I would have liked to have gotten a question in revolving around their thoughts on contemporary baseball and Sabermetrics, but too many cranky old people needed to air their grievances.
Speaking of good books to read, holy moly, have you read the new Philip Roth? I'm about 60 pages in and I'm as in love with it, as I was in love with Portnoy's Complaint when I was but a young lad of 15.
I'm having trouble keeping up myself. After the aforementioned trip to Europe, which was beyond outstanding (even though that sounds like a dangerous medical condition), I found myself back in New York for 10 uncomfortable days. After that it was off to Montreal in formal celebration of Jeff Pepe, bachelor extraordinaire and a go-go. From there, home for a day and then off to Atlanta on a work-related jaunt.
Long story short, by my completely made up mathematics, I'm about two metric tons behind in packing my things and four hogsheads behind in unpacking them. Or maybe that's the other way around. The point is this: I'm tired and my brain hurts.
Is it too late to talk about Owen Wilson trying to kill himself? Probably, but even so, I'm still interested in making a tasteless joke about it. Ah, forget it.
Book update: we're in our final round of edits, after which the salespeople will begin to sell it. My understanding is that we'll know by January if the book is a horrible flop or just a disappointing failure.
I've been away for the last couple of days. The wife and I headed down to the Bahamas for a quick getaway. We stayed at the Atlantis on Paradise Island, which is a sprawling resort that has just about everything you need, except a good place to eat lunch.
The place is really great. Wehad an awesome time. They have these lazy river rapids and long water slides. I spent an inordinate amount of time doing this and sitting by the pool, which allowed me to finish a couple of books. We had two outstanding dinners, the last of which was at a place called Fathom's, which had us dining in a large aquarium. Our table was right up against the glass, so we got some incredible views of some marine life.
When I get home, I'll drop the pictures in here as well.
Other than that, the book is fully done at this point. We're just waiting for the manuscript to be officially accepted, so we can collect the final portion of our cash. This should be forthcoming. When I receive my check, it will go toward the copius credit card bills racked up on said vacation.
Figured it was time for one of these. We're about done with the manuscript here, which is a huge relief. We're going to hand it in in the next couple of days, while we also work on the back end to refine it and add some additional material. We've also been brainstorming cover ideas and have a couple of really solid possibilities.
All in all, I'm pretty happy with how the manuscript is coming together. There are a ton of essays in there right now (almost 80 different topics: movies, people, albums, books), so there's something for eveyone.
More as it develops. In the meantime, we've gotten the site back to publishing daily again, after being pretty sporadic over the last couple of months while we knocked out the manuscript. And the print effort is back on. I'm in the process of gathering all ye rosebuds while I may (or something like that).
I finally decided to just stop all this nonsense and get myself a Nintendo Wii. After watching this site for days and about 10 unsuccessful bids on eBay, I finally scored one that came with two additional games for $350.
Here's the problem: I've got a book manuscript due in 9 days that's not quite complete yet, and if I open the damn game system, there's no way in hell I'm going to cross the finish line.
Now I'm in the unenviable position of having an incredible game system that's sitting in my closet, unopened, because I'm such a weak human being that if I even look at it, I'll open it, set it up and play the shit out of it.
Basically, I'm so impatient that I couldn't wait 14 days to buy thing, I'm sitting here getting tortured by it.
The last few days have been quiet around here for a reason: I'm working diligently on the first Y.P.R. book with my compadres. The manuscript is due to the publisher a week from Monday, so we're working pretty hard on getting it all lined up. As soon as is humanly possible, I'll give all of the pertinent details to my adoring fan base (read: the both of you).
I'll keep this blog loaded down with information as the book publishing process progresses. In the interim, you'll have to settle for what the blog normally consists of: links to articles about Connie Chung and rabid anti-Danish (the people, not the pastry) invective.
