This
article runs down the 12 most annoying Facebook users. You know someone who falls into every category. It got me to thinking about the whole Facebook thing today.
I really enjoy catching up with people that I haven't seen (or thought about, frankly) in 10 or 15 years, but what I find most difficult is reconciling the reality of who they are now with the image of how I remember them. One of my really close friends was one of the biggest goofballs that I knew. We had some really crazy ridiculous times together, but I've spoken to him regularly for last 15 years. I watched him transform from the guy that hit on strippers to married man to homeowner to father of two, so it's not shocking to me. Don't get me wrong: the idea that the guy that used to show off his dangle to people that didn't even ask has two kids hurts my head on several levels, but it's not shocking.
But when the guy that used to pick his nose and flick it at people friends me on Facebook, and I look at his profile and he's a married doctor, it's just a little bit shocking to me because I didn't see the evolution of his persona (or worse, he never evolved and is still flicking boogers at people, only now he also removes spleens).
And every time that I connect with someone, I go through this exercise and see who people have become and I'm never any less shocked, in the same way that my dog is never any less happy to see me when I walk in the door, whether I've been gone two minutes or two months. The guy that masturbated in the back of English class and then threw the er, "result" into the curly hair of the girl who sat in front of him is now a teacher. The girl that blew a guy in the stairwell is now a VP at Goldman Sachs (which I assume is how she got to be a VP in the first place, I'm sure the men that work there also have to suck someone off to get promoted). These are both true descriptions of people that I've known in the past.
I suspect that everyone who hasn't talked to me in 15 years that gives me a "poke" is thinking the same things:
"Someone actually married that schmuck?"
"He's been able to hold down a job?"
"Does he really still have the same haircut?"*
*The answer to all three of these questions is yes. To be honest, I'm as surprised as anyone.Sure, the sharing seems over the top to me, but hey, it's your life. Share as much or as little as you want. You should know that I probably don't care (if I cared, I probably would have tried harder to stay in touch when it wasn't so easy to do so), but that's more my problem than yours.
And if you want to be that guy or gal that announces that someone died literally moments after that person actually died, then put RIP after it, as if it's not completely disingenuous or it will keep you from going to Hell, more power to you. I can't stop you. I've probably hidden your status updates by now anyway, but whatever. Go to town.
I just have so much trouble reconciling two visions of people in my head: one as I knew them and one as they are today. It just sends my brain into this infinite loop of Finkel/Einhorn-ness.
Labels: Facebook
