It's Rosh Hashanah. If you're celebrating, I hope that God decides to inscribe your name in the Book of Life for the coming year. If you don't celebrate, I hope you burn in eternal Hellfire.

Good stuff from Fareed Zakaria on CNN.com today. He takes a moment to explain (though he shouldn't have to) exactly why Sarah Palin should be sent back to Alaska to resume her duties as part of a completely made up demographic that can only be distinguished from an unfairly judged dog by its lipstick.

Hey, kids, do you like the TV? Holy smokes. Who doesn't? Did you watch the Office program last week? If they're not doing some of the best work on TV, my name ain't Flippy McGee.

All right, enough of this nonsense. I'll be back with some more insignificant babbling shortly.

Labels: Jews, Sarah Palin, The Office

Is anyone a fan of Patton Oswalt? I am. I think the guy's brilliant. He does this bit about how the world is so surreal it is now Earth, where Bush won and 9/11 happened and we're at war and Paris Hilton is famous. There must be an alternate Earth, where Gore won, and the towers are still standing and Paris Hilton was eaten by wolves.

I can't get that out of my head when I think about what's going down on Wall St.

My real problem is that the punishment just doesn't fit the crime. These Wall St. folks took horrible risks, failed miserably and their punishment is to retire with their millions while the government (read: you and me) are left to clean up the mess? That's it? Why should I have to foot the bill? I pay my taxes year after year. I make sound investments. I monitor my credit card bills to make sure I'm not taking on too much debt.

The president told people they needed to own property. That it was their civic responsibility to go out an buy a home. So they did. They went and took out mortgages that they couldn't afford under the assumption that their house would rise in value into the indefinite future. That the housing bubble would never burst. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that ain't working out too well for too many people.

Where has Bush's "ownership society" left us?

I've resisted buying an apartment or a house because I wanted to be sure that I could afford it. I've rented a place for 10 years. I was responsible with how I went about my life and my finances. And my tax dollars are bailing out the gluttonous thieves that are walking away scott free, while people lose their homes and the entire economy teeters on the brink.

Is it right that the government has to take over Fannie and Freddie? Of course not, but what were the options? By the time it got to them (thanks to Mr. McCain and his deregulation efforts), they didn't have any choice. Not only that, will probably assume like every mortgage in the country. My friend Doug is calling it "The People's Republic of the United States of America" and the worst part is: he's not that far off. The government will literally own your house. Not the bank. The government.

What's the solution? Find the CEO of Lehman, of Bear Stearns, of Merrill Lynch and all of the investment banks and make them pay. Make them pay for their risky, irresponsible behavior. Take their bonuses and their golden parachutes and use that money to start getting there. It won't make a dent in the $700 billion bill that we're staring down the barrel of, but it's a start.

And it'll make me feel a hell of a lot better.

Labels: finance, John McCain, my high horse

Has anyone seen this new Microsoft commercial where the people are saying the have PCs and all the different things they do?

There's this one guy wearing a cowboy hat, who's standing a bit away from the camera and just goes, "I turn number two into energy," and he's got all these cows behind him.

This got me laughing. Very hard.

Labels: commercials, TV

To say that I've got nothing to say.

Hopefully, this will change tomorrow. More then.

Labels: nothing to say

Great ad from the Obama campaign.

Also, reminder to keep checking Things Younger Than John McCain. Very, very funny website.

Labels: John McCain, old people

Gregory McDonald, author of "Fletch" and "Fletch Lives," has died. He was 71 years old.

He should be happy that he outlived Chevy Chase's career by nearly 20 years.

Labels: dead people, Fletch

Nothing too schmaltzy, just a link to a short article in the Times today about how New York's skyline is defined by what's missing, instead of what's there.

Labels: 9/11, New York Times

I'm finally fed up. I can't even believe that this is what the media is making a big deal out of. This feels below even them, who seem to make a big deal out of the smallest, most meaningless things.

And guess what this is distracting everyone from? The fact that McCain hasn't mentioned a policy, not one single policy, that he has.

The fact that Bush and McCain are giving the same speeches.

The fact that Sarah Palin is in a bunker somewhere preparing for an interview with Charles Gibson, and during this time, no one's allowed to talk to her. For fuck's sake, this woman could be president.

How about Palin's church ties?

How about Troopergate?

How about the fact that a "fiscal Conservative" led her state to its highest budget ever?

You can't cut taxes and spend. It doesn't work. You can't return a tax surplus to the people, then borrow to build a hockey rink.

Forget about the censorship.

The more the media keeps picking at these little things, like whether Obama called Palin a pig or not, the less we hear about things that are important. You know, things like:

- our financial services markets, which are about to fall apart
- our economy, ready to fall with it
- unemployment being way up
- the fact that 45 million people in this country have no healthcare
- the energy crisis

Put this in the face of McCain/Palin campaign and make them answer tough questions. Make them confront how they're different from the crap that we've been fed for the last 8 years. Make them show us exactly how much of a "maverick" McCain's been since 2004.

Labels: idiots, John McCain, politics, Sarah Palin

Should there really be a statute of limitations on crimes likethis?

If it's possible, I'd like to amend the 1972 amendment to exclude hate crimes driven by complete ignorance and committed by redneck yokels.

Labels: redneck idiots

I'd be remiss if I didn't say something about Tell No One, which I saw last night.

Very basically, a guy gets an email from his wife, 8 years after she died under mysterious circumstances. From there, the film is a winding, confusing (and sometimes needlessly complex) journey to find out what the hell is going on. The director does a masterful job shooting this film, and not a single moment of the movie is extraneous or unresolved at the end. If you're someone who likes to guess at the movie before the end, you need to pay attention to every single detail.

I think the French are just better at making thrillers than everyone else, because every time I see one, I come out of the movie riveted, excited and happy that I saw the film.

Very high recommend.

Labels: movies

Hi everybody!

There's been so much action over the last few days that I don't know where to begin and I don't know if I'll remember it all. Fortunately for me, no one reads this. The other day I got to thinking: what's the real difference between writing a blog that no one reads and walking down the street talking to myself? I was distressed that I couldn't come up with anything, so I called myself a whore and ran away.

Amazingly, I'm actually progressing on my latest effort to fool the publishing world into giving me money for the blithering drivel that I manage to smear all over the page (or screen, I guess, I haven't "written" anything in ten years).

Hey, my good friend Sarah Palin is running for Vice President! Did you guys see her speech the other night? She was so awesome! She was so good that I nearly died from hypertension listening to it and started throwing things at my television in complete glee. And I also love how she let her grandfather speak last night. Even though he seems a little confused and disoriented, that's probably just dementia.

Also, my good friend Sara Benincasa and her good friend Diana Saez are doing some deliciously hysterical Palin spoofing. You should all get out on YouTube and watch them. Start here and watch all six of them.

OK, all done for now.

Labels: John McCain, politics, Sarah Palin, writing