You couldn't have just won the game and kept my hopes alive for a new flatscreen TV. You just couldn't help me out there.

Jerks.

Labels: Texas

Is anyone else enjoying the hell out the NCAA tourney this year? Even though I'd love to see Davidson make it to the Final Four, it's very important to my financial well-being that Kansas win.

I finished the New York Times Sunday crossword in less than 90 minutes this week. I'm getting too smart. People are going to start to shun me.

It's not that it's hard to get to Brooklyn; it's just hard to get back. Does the F train run once an hour out there after 9pm? What's up with that? Am I supposed to see two G trains before I see an F?

If you want something fun to do on Monday night around 7pm, you should go to see my good friend Todd Zuniga read at the Canteen Issue 2 New York Release Party at Housing Works Used Book Café in Soho.

If you don't watch the show Top Chef, you should. Because food is awesome.

I drafted my fantasy baseball team last night. For the first time in 3 years, I didn't want to vomit while looking at my squad after I finished. Perhaps this means I'll finish higher than 10th this year. Probably not, though.

Does anyone care about Jennifer Lopez's twins, except Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony? If you do, I've got news for you: they don't care about your twins, or anything else going on in your life.

I don't like cinnamon. That's right. I said it.

Live action Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. $216M in box office gross. To say that I'm shocked at that would be the understatement of the aughts. So, with that news, look for my live action version of Captain Caveman in theaters next fall. It's going to star Jason Lee in a hair suit.

If you wanted to write a book review about Elliott Spitzer's non-existent autobiography, you'd have to title it "Elliott Spitzer Swallows His Pride," wouldn't you?

Labels: random thoughts

I am masquerading as someone who knows anything about what the hell he's doing on this machine. This post is meant to once again test Twitterfeed. I'm hoping works this time.

I am not listening to George Benson's "This Masquerade," though if I harnessed the power of this InterWeb thing, I might be able to.

Furthermore, I have now used the word masquerade (or some form thereof) exactly three more times than I have in the last ten years, minimum.

That is all.

Labels: masquerade, Twitterfeed

I'm writing this post to test out something called Twitterfeed. For those of you that don't know what Twitter is, it's basically a website where you type in your status and other people you know (or don't know) follow what you're doing. That's exactly right: instead of picking up the phone and asking you how you're doing or what's going on, they look at your Twitter, read that you're currently sitting at work, picking your nose and they're satisfied with that knowledge.

Adding a layer to that, there are all kinds of applications that you can feed into your Twitter, so that instead of typing that you're at work, picking your nose on your Facebook, Twitter and blog, you only do it once and Twitterfeed farms it out to the rest of them.

Anyway, I find this obsession with status really interesting. I don't know how many people read this blog on a given day (I suppose I could find out for certain if I really wanted to), but I'm sure it's less than 10. And the only reason that people see my status on Facebook is because a couple hundred people are my "friends" and Facebook forces them to see what I'm doing.

It's all just so personally impersonal. Does it give the trivialities of my day some kind of meaning, knowing that 13 people are giving them a casual glance? To me, no, it doesn't. The same with this blog, which I write more for personal enjoyment than anything else. But I fear that it does to some other people. This InterWeb thing is really fickle. It's a "here today, gone tomorrow" kind of medium. Ask ObamaGirl. I just get the sense that people really care whether people are watching. And I guess it speaks to how highly we value celebrity in this country, no matter what that celebrity is.

Information transfer is a powerful tool, but not for things like whether I'm at the diner, eating a piece of pie. That just flat out doesn't matter. It barely matters to me and I'm the one doing it. It didn't matter last year when someone texted me, five years ago when they called me on my cell phone, ten years ago when they paged me or twenty years ago when they called me at home and got my answering machine.

Either way, hopefully this Twitterfeed thing works. I don't care about who's looking. I'm just lazy and don't want to have to write this 12 times.

Labels: Twitterfeed

Since I haven't had a day off in about 3 months where my joints weren't aching to the point that cutting off my legs was a serious consideration, I decided that today I would not go to my office. Rather, I would watch a ton of college basketball in the afternoon and root for several upsets (check), take a nice walk outside with my dog (check), watch the Rangers beat the snot out of the Flyers (upcoming) and then enjoy more college basketball (upcoming).

Things to do tonight, if you aren't me and want to leave your TV:

1) Go to Family Hour at Ochi's Lounge. This is the last Friday night there for Family Hour. Next week, they'll be moving to Thursdays.

2) Go to Don't Touch Me There at Piano's. This looks to be a fun night of comedy, in the vain of the Comedians of Comedy.

To be fair, any other Friday night, I'd have a hard fucking time choosing between which one of these I'd go to.

Labels: day off, sports, stand-up comedy

Because I'm horrible at self-promotion, I figured I'd take a quick opportunity to update you as to the book and the status of YPR,(which you should all go and read post-haste).

The book: Man, this thing is really starting to roll. The official release date is June 24th. The advance buzz around it are starting to roll in and it's nothing but positive. The idea itself engenders so much debate over what is and isn't Underrated that I almost love bringing it up, because it means that I don't really have to talk to anyone for an evening. They sit and argue amongst themselves. The blurbs that our readers have given us are nothing short of amazing and I thank them for their gracious and kind words.

YPR: Have you been visiting our lovely online destination at all recently? If you have not, you've been missing out. The last few weeks of YPR have been among the best of the last 5 years. We're getting more amazing submissions than ever and it really shows in the online product. We've upgraded in quality from "shitty" to "mediocre." Another 5 years and we might approach "passable." In any event, swing by sometime. First drink is on us.

Labels: books, YPR

I'm sure there's an article written about this somewhere. I've probably even linked to it. But this question is worth asking:

What the hell happened to all the good TV theme songs? There was a time that I would have considered TV Theme Songs my savant category. These days, bupkes. There's next to nothing going on in the way of great theme songs. And that's a huge disppointment.

When I was a kid, I remember the theme songs being almost as good as the TV shows themselves. There's no way that I would have ever sat around watching Gilligan's Island reruns after junior high if it had some crappy instrumental these song. The show just wasn't entertaining enough and the plots had more holes than the boxers that I wear on laundry day.

And it's not like that was the only one. Laverne and Shirley, Happy Days, All in the Family, WKRP in Cincinnati, Maude, One Day At A Time, Good Times, Three's Company, The Jeffersons. They all had really great theme songs. That's the '70s. How about the '80s?

Charles in Charge, Cheers, The Love Boat, The Facts of Life, Greatest American Hero. All memorable songs and I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton. [*Editor's Note: I forgot Family Ties!]

Anyway, the point is that I can only think of one single theme song out there these days that I'm humming along to: Scrubs. And that show doesn't even need it because it's so clever (though much less now than it was 5 years ago) The thing is, a lot of these crappy shows that are out there these days could benefit from a truly great theme song. Instead, they rely on a cold open with a crappy joke. Has anyone watched Unhitched? It's a great show. I'm sure retarded people love it. What are the Farrelly brothers doing attaching their names to this? Or is that they're saying "the guys who brought you Dumb and Dumber, so that I'll think it's the Farrellys? Either way, my point is a rocking theme song might make me hang out to watch it, if only for a few minutes.

As an aside, kudos to the Big Bang Theory. Though not a great show, they took the time to hook up the Barenaked Ladies with a gig. The Lads cranked out a pretty solid theme song, and I hang to watch the show. It's entertaining.

I do have a theory here: I think that the studios aren't investing time in coming up with theme songs because people aren't watching opening credits anymore. They're fast forwarding through them with their "magic recordificating devices." Why invest thousands of dollars in something that people aren't listening to?

I'll tell you why: people will listen. They don't now for the same reason that Eskimos eat whale blubber. It's the only fucking thing they're serving. Serve up a decent song and the people will check it out.

Labels: theme songs, TV

Hey, everyone! I'm back!

How about that Elliott Spitzer, huh? Turns out he likes the hookers. And not just the $50 for a lubejob kind that I pick up uptown on Thursday afternoons, either. No, he likes the Jersey Shore trashy, yet expensive kind. Honestly, what is this country coming to? A man has to resign his governorship because he paid for sex with another woman? The guy was paying for sex with his wife for 20-plus years! Am I right, people?

What else? I did a reading last night at Ochi's Lounge at Comix. It was for the Family Hour, hosted by the lovely Sara Benincasa. It was a delightful night with some wonderful performers. I did my usual inept stuttering that occasionally comes off as endearing, but usually appears off-putting and creepy.

I think I'm finally past the tough stuff at the office, so hopefully, I'll have more time to post my nonsense here. Because if the InterWeb doesn't need another idiot discussing American Idol and the New York Rangers, then I don't know anything about anything.

For those interested, this is the 200th post on this blog, which I'll use as another opportunity to tell Sally Field to screw off for doubting me. What do you think of me now, Sally?

Labels: Family Hour, hookers, Sally Field, Spitzer

To say that I've been busy the last few weeks would be an understatement. I was supposed to go to London this weekend. Due to extenuating circumstances, I had to hang back in New York. I worked 15 hours on Wednesday, 16 on Thursday, 12 on Friday, and 6 on Saturday. To say that I'm tired would be like saying Ashton Kutcher is stupid. It's true, but doesn't really portray the whole picture.

On the positive side, the ARCs (Advance Reading Copies) of the book are in, and I'm expecting them to be delivered to my apartment any minute now. Though this copy doesn't incorporate our final edits, it'll have our full layout and it'll be in book form, which is crazy exciting.

I'm hoping to be able to start posting more regularly again on Thursday or Friday of this week, when I've got a little more time to focus.

Until then, enjoy this footage of a dancing bear:

Labels: books, dancing bear, tired