*I almost titled this: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

When Kurt Vonnegut died last year, I (like every other super-nerd) wrote a lamenting homage on this very website, suggesting the the world had lost one of its geniuses. I also feared that we were running out.

Last night, we lost another.

During my formative years on the mean streets of New York City's northern suburbs, I spent tons of time listening to George Carlin. And as a language geek, I reveled in the way he crafted his jokes. His command of the English language was unparalleled. He could go clean with the best of them, but he "worked blue*" because it pissed people off. I spent countless hours devouring the books he wrote that compiled material from his routines, and whenever he had a new HBO special, I watched it as soon as it came on.

*Incidentally, "working blue" is one of my favorite all-time expressions. I've got no idea why it means what it means or where it comes from. I'd look up the origin of the phrase, but that would probably make it lose some of its luster.

His words come in handy all the time. For instance:

When boarding a plane: "Fuck you. I'm getting in the plane. Let Evel Kneivel get on the plane. I'll be in here with you folks in uniform. There seems to be less wind in here."

When cooking: "There are only two states in which an oven can exist: heated or unheated. Preheated is a meaningless fucking term."

When visiting children: "You're kids aren't special. Children are like any other group of people: a few winners and a whole lot of losers. This is Mr. Conductor talking. I know what I'm talking about."

He's a beautiful bastard. And I'm going to miss him.

Labels: dead celebs, George Carlin, stand-up comedy