Hi everybody!

There's been so much action over the last few days that I don't know where to begin and I don't know if I'll remember it all. Fortunately for me, no one reads this. The other day I got to thinking: what's the real difference between writing a blog that no one reads and walking down the street talking to myself? I was distressed that I couldn't come up with anything, so I called myself a whore and ran away.

Amazingly, I'm actually progressing on my latest effort to fool the publishing world into giving me money for the blithering drivel that I manage to smear all over the page (or screen, I guess, I haven't "written" anything in ten years).

Hey, my good friend Sarah Palin is running for Vice President! Did you guys see her speech the other night? She was so awesome! She was so good that I nearly died from hypertension listening to it and started throwing things at my television in complete glee. And I also love how she let her grandfather speak last night. Even though he seems a little confused and disoriented, that's probably just dementia.

Also, my good friend Sara Benincasa and her good friend Diana Saez are doing some deliciously hysterical Palin spoofing. You should all get out on YouTube and watch them. Start here and watch all six of them.

OK, all done for now.

Labels: John McCain, politics, Sarah Palin, writing

We're closing up shop a little early for Labor Day. The wife and I will be celebrating two years married, and thus, out of town.

Enjoy your holidays.

Labels: Labor Day, my wife

... I'll be going to this tonight.

Labels: Huey Lewis, live music

Just a quick note to make sure that you're following my good friend Dennis DiClaudio on the Indecision 2008 blog. The guy is brilliant and I hate his guts.

Also: Holy Hillary! I almost stood up in my living room like five times, and if you know me at all, that's really saying something.

Labels: Dennis DiClaudio, Indecision 2008, politics

Do you want to see a quirky, bizarre, brilliant film? Get yourself out to the local Cineplex and see the Hamlet 2 film. I haven't come out of a film that happy or engorged since Alvin and the Chipmunks.

[Update: I don't like Catherine Keener. I haven't enjoyed any performance by her since Being John Malkovich.]

Labels: movies

Senator John McCain, about Dan Quayle, at the 1988 Republican National Convention:

"I can't believe a guy that handsome wouldn't have some impact."

I don't even know what to say.

Labels: John McCain, politics, quotes

As of August 1, the new poet laureate of this blog is Gail Simmons, editor at Food & Wine magazine and Top Chef judge.

For Gail's Wikipedia page, click here.

For Gail's Food & Wine bio, click here.

Step aside, Dutch astronomer Jan Oort. Your tenure as poet laureate as ended. I'd send you a gold watch, but you're dead, so that wouldn't do much good.

Labels: Food and Wine, Gail Simmons, Jan Oort, poet laureate, Top Chef